history repeating

for once. just this moment.

I take time out. Time from all the craziness to acknowledge one.

One simple, yet unexpected object.

Time tells an important story, from the moments of first meeting someone to the length of time that allows from not communicating. How do we simply define what is now? or even then?

Love. Passion. Temptation. Patience. Life.

All of which occur in the smallest amounts of time, from you, from others, from the ones unknown. I never understood the true meaning of the unexpected. The whispers, the shouts, and everything in between occur to simply say.. the best is still to come.

Our lives, at least mine anyways, have been shaped from the surrounding we place ourselves in. The music, the movies, the maniactic moments we follow shape every moment around us. Cinematic moments motivate ourselves to say 'i'll have that' or 'that'll never happen'. However, what I've come to find (and as insightful as I may sound) is that none of that really matters. The fear of knowing drives us into new prospects. Being more than fortunate to know and understand someone besides myself for a period of time gives me the ability to say.. let's move forward. Understanding yourself.. and even knowing you can be loved will make you progress. After all. . alcohol, drugs, sex or everyday life can place temporary sedatives in how you'll feel.. but it's until you confront the issue wholely.. is when you, your special, self-loved self, will be able to move on.

At this age of innocence, it's importance to remember one thing: self-love. I wish I knew all the answers, but as my mind runs, and runs with yours.. love yourself first. I will say.. thus far. I've found someone whose caused me to love differently. Who has caused me to love so deeply. I've found someone who've I lost, but fortunately, caused me to realize how much I've lost. I've found someone I still lust, but not for aesthetics, but for a feeling. A feeling that says, "i'm alright, i'm more than grateful for this. now."

This person still has expectations for me. This person inspires me, I learn from him.

He learns from me. He allows me to say 'he' and not try to be anyone but myself. He learns from me, and brings a new sense of joy in my life. However, deep inside of me, I still feel I'll never be good enough for him, but chancing myself for him makes life that much more exciting. Without risks, there's no life to live. I love someone, still.

It never went away.